When a girl dreams

“I’m an 18 year old girl and I have dreams” 

  I have an inborn cataract. When I was young, I’ve been through two eye-operations already. Because of this eyesight problem, I was force to wear thick glasses even in my young age. And because of this, I had a rough elementary days. Some of my classmates back then were bullies. They kept calling me “Bulding” (an ilocano name for blind) I was always bullied everyday. So I never really had a fun child hood days. 

When I started high school. It was really hard to fit in. Every students who passed me by, always have that look in their eyes like they were telling how ugly I am. My glasses makes my eyes looks so big that oftens make others laugh at me. It was really hard.

One of my hardest problem too was the seating arrangement at school. Since my last name starts with ‘T’ . I was always forced to sit in the back. I could hardly see the letters in the black board. So I can’t help but to stand up and squat infront of the others.

Now, I’m facing another problem. 

My left eye could no longer see. Its totally blurred. (Even with glasses) I’m now only depending on my right eye. But I could not tell how long can my right eye help me. 

We’re not that rich so we can’t afford to have an eye transplant. So some says, sooner or maybe later, I’ll wake up in the dark. When I lost my vission I won’t be able to see the beautiful colors of the world. I will no longer determine if its morning or night. It will be always nught. I won’t be able to write my stories or read books. I’ll be a burden to my familly. No man will love me. Its a nightmare that will possibly happen

I’m still 18 and I’ll be in third year College soon. Some people tells me to give up already since I’ll be blind sooner or later. What’s the use of studying if I’ll be blind in the future? 

I don’t know why. But I want to study. Maybe my eyes will be blind soon. But I don’t wanna stop going to school. I have dreams and as long as I can still see. I won’t stop praying for my dreams to come true. I’ll enjoy life as long as I can still see. 

But still.. 

I’m scared. 

Scared that one day darkness will wrap my life. 

I hope. Anyone could help me.

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I’m still a kid.

I just wanna let out of this frustration. I just can’t help it. 

I woke up this morning because of some yells from the outside of my room. Mom and Dad are probably fighting over something again. When I hear mom cried, I instantly decided not to go out anymore. I just sat in my bed.  I heared my older sister defending mom and I heared dad getting angry about it. And then he cursed us all. I know to myself that I couldn’t take things like this. I’m not into anyone sides but I hated dad when he’s acting like that. He even physically hurt mom by throwing something to her. 

I’m scared of being involve in things like this at home. I’m afraid if I do something about it and it will only cause greater problem. Broken familly are sad. I knew cause almost of my friends have a broken familly. I don’t want that to happen to my familly. 

I silently prayed that things like this won’t happen again. I hate hearing mom cry. I hate seeing dad angry.

I’m 18. Still, I’m just a kid who wants mommy and daddy be happy together.

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S U M M E R !

       Every summer. I always visit the beach. I couldn’t help it. Summer is hot and its annoying.  Feeling the cool water and soft sand at the beach can make me feel a litte bit relax and stress-free.  

       Soon enough. Another school year will come. So I gotta enjoy my stupid summer as long as I can. 

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Friendship No More !

    I am freakin-ly dissapointed.  I cannot imagine how the hell did she do that. She’s a total biyatch! I trusted her. I treated her like my sister. I was always been there when she needed me.  I couldn’t remember doing anything wrong.  Because for me, she was my BFFAF (Best Friends Forever And Ever). Since we started College together and I remember dreaming together about how our life will be after college. 

   I’ve just discovered that she’s actually a pathetic backstabber. Acting nice and goddy-goddy when your around. But when your not—I tell you. She’s a total biyatch! 

     So, obviously, I’m still upset about everything. And I’m still frustrated. So I decided to have my own blog.

    And ta-dah! My first ever story to tell. Not much. But whew! Its nice to lighten up the frustrations. 

     FRIENDSHIP NO MORE !!!

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